Moving Beyond Regret

As I sit at my table today, gazing out the window, I hear the sound of my grandkids running up and down the hallway. It’s a joyful sound, but it’s also a nostalgic one. It carries me back to when my own children were that small.

If I’m being honest, those memories come with a side of “should-haves.” I think we all hit a point where we look back and see the cracks in our parenting or the mistakes in our past. In those moments, we have a choice to make—and it’s a deeply personal one that nobody can make for us.

We can do one of two things:

Move on and learn from past mistakes or dwell on them.

We hang onto those regrets like a worn-out ragdoll with torn-off limbs.

​And it’s easy to choose the ragdoll. It’s familiar. But it’s heavy, and it keeps our hands too full to grab onto the joy happening right in front of us.

Choosing to move forward is hard enough, but it’s even harder when other people decide to weigh in. There will always be people who think they know your heart better than you do. They judge your past “whys” without ever having walked in your shoes.

In the Bible, 1 Samuel 30:6 tells us that David found himself in a dark place. The people around him were grieving, angry, and talking about stoning him. Back then, they used actual rocks; today, people use words. They throw “stones” of gossip, assumptions, and social media commentary.

But look at what David did: He encouraged himself in the Lord.

1 Samuel 30:6 (ESV)  “And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because all the people were bitter in soul, each for his sons and daughters. But David strengthened himself in the LORD his God.”

​He didn’t wait for a pep talk from the crowd that wanted to take him down. He realized that when the world is against you, you have to be your own first responder.

You Have Nothing to Prove.

It hurts when people talk behind your back. It stings when their opinions of you are flat-out wrong. But I’ve learned a vital lesson over the years: Those people are behind your back for a reason.

​You don’t owe the critics an explanation. You don’t have to exhaust yourself trying to prove your growth to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

We have to ask ourselves a question. So, what am I going to do? (And yes, I’m talking to myself here.)

I’m going to stop wallowing in the “what-ifs.” I’m going to stop trying to win a court case in the minds of people who weren’t there. It is time to be an encourager—even if, for today, the only person I’m encouraging is myself.

Life is too short to carry a torn-up ragdoll when you could be watching the kids play and have fun. Or better yet, you could be out there playing and enjoy yourself.